'Death Positivity' - Shifting Perspectives on Dying

People are focused on what becomes death when it occurs, and the reasons behind it intrigue me. The deaths I've known are not ones of suffering nor trauma. It is rather a reminder that the probability turns an inevitable at a certain point of the lifespan. Personally I do not wish to join the café, I would however for educational purposes in order to understand contributing factors behind this curiosity. One thing surprised me is that the realisation of death becomes a deep fear when it is not perceived as a natural part of life.

1. At the beginning of the video, Doughty says: "The death rate is 100% - we're all going to die". What was your initial reaction to this statement?

I giggled, because it's true and flips the narrative 

2. What did you find surprising, confronting, or challenging about this video? Why?

What I found surprising was that there has been a shift of role in death - consumerist/capitalist men and women in the home

3. Would you consider joining a 'death café' meeting? Why / Why not? 

Yes I would, it just seems like an open forum to ask questions and have discussions around death and dying which sounds like it can be quite engaging 

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1. At the beginning of the video, Doughty says: "The death rate is 100% - we're all going to die". What was your initial reaction to this statement? True fact. I think about this quite a bit. 

2. What did you find surprising, confronting, or challenging about this video? Why? I didn't know women used to take care of the dead body. It would be so helpful to have passed down rituals to perform to guide loved ones through the process. I feel a massive disconnect to western/christian funeral procedures...

3. Would you consider joining a 'death café' meeting? Why / Why not? Absolutely, I'd love to hear other people's perspectives and ideas and think it's a great idea to process ideas/aspects/approaches before being in grief or at end-of-life myself. 

Yes this has always been my perspective.  I think talking about death should be more open and natural as it is a part of life and it is such a significant aspect of life that it shouldn't be hidden.  It think it is healthy to talk about death.  I don't think I would join a death cafe because I would rather have those conversations with my friends and family, but I think it is a great idea for those who need it.  If I wasn't getting the support I needed from my friends and family then maybe I would join one.

1. At the beginning of the video, Doughty says: "The death rate is 100% - we're all going to die". What was your initial reaction to this statement?

My reaction, is just yes, it's enivatable. I accept it will happen, whenever that is, but I try to focus on making the most of my everyday.

2. What did you find surprising, confronting, or challenging about this video? Why?

I hadn't heard of the death cafe groups or a fun-eral before, I liked the concept of these to help people process and accept their own emotions towards death.

3. Would you consider joining a 'death café' meeting? Why / Why not? 

For me I wouldn't, I have a clear understanding and accpeting on what death looks like to me. It is not something that upsets or bothers me.

1.  "The death rate is 100% - we're all going to die". What was your initial reaction to this statement?

I nodded in agreement because she is 100% right. We are going to experience death; it is part of the human experience.

2. What did you find surprising, confronting, or challenging about this video? Why?

I enjoyed watching this, I think these are healthy conversations. The video game was a little too far for me, but for the most part, I think our common discourse around death and dying needs to be more prevalent and positive.

3. Would you consider joining a 'death café' meeting? Why / Why not? 

Yes, for all the reasons above. Before signing up for this course, I was looking at taking a death doula course. As part of my professional practice, I want to work with people who are experiencing dying, death and loss. To help others navigate our last right of passage is something I feel quite passionate about.

`1. I didn't really react. I've always been interested in death; it's something I've thought about.

2. Not really anything, it was interesting and I resonate with the death process being taken out of our hands, I like the Maori culture way of passing through (staying with the person until they pass, staying with the body afterwards while they are still transitioning).

3. Yes, I would. I'm not afraid of death, just having a painful death. I've watched a few people die, and some processes are painful, some are healing. I think having open conversations helps the dying person accept it. I'm currently going through it with my pop and we have lots of open chats about him passing over, and I know that's going to make his transition easier.

I think I have always been thinking about it since I was little. It is a concept that I found uneasy and fearful, as it represents 'pain' and the 'end' of life on Earth.

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1. At the beginning of the video, Doughty says: "The death rate is 100% - we're all going to die". What was your initial reaction to this statement? I thought it was quite a witty statement, as it's confronting but very true.

2. What did you find surprising, confronting, or challenging about this video? Why?  I didn't find anything about this confronting or challenging. The concept of a death cafe, meeting to talk about immortality, and fun-erals is an interesting one.  Death is something that many people fear, maybe talking about it more openly with like-minded people would ease some fears.

3. Would you consider joining a 'death café' meeting? Why / Why not? It's not something that I've ever really though about, but I guess I would be open tot he idea. Especially from a research viewpoint.  Heading into a counselling career, this is something that could be useful and interesting.  

Doughty's statement is correct, one day we all will face death and there's no running away from it

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My first reaction to that comment was, “Yep, she’s right.” No surprises there.

It doesn’t shock me that death has turned into a money-making business. From burying my mother 13 years ago to my father-in-law last year, the price hikes have been outrageous. It's disappointing to think some funeral homes might take advantage of people during such vulnerable times.

What did surprise me, though, was learning that women used to handle all of this at home. I actually like that idea.

I’m not sure if I’d go to a “death café,” though—it does sound a bit more lighthearted than a grief group session at the local community hall.

My reaction to the statement "we're all going to die" is inevitable and true!

I did not find anything confronting or challenging about this video. 

I personally am not interested in joining a "death cafe" as I rather concentrate on living.  I might change my mind as I get older!

1. At the beginning of the video, Doughty says: "The death rate is 100% - we're all going to die". What was your initial reaction to this statement?

She's correct, we will all die and we do need to come to terms with it

2. What did you find surprising, confronting, or challenging about this video? Why?

It's nice to know that it's becoming more common in the general psyche. I didn't find anything confronting or challenging. It surprised me that there's a mortician game.

3. Would you consider joining a 'death café' meeting? Why / Why not? 

Totally would. It's important to talk to people and share with groups. Hearing new peoples' perspectives can literally change your life and your entire outlook on topics. It's easy to forget there are more ways than just your own of looking at these types of big topics, especially if you think you've thought about it from every angle

i thought, Yup! 

that death really is everywhere and we subconsciously talk and see it i a negative way in society.

probably not, im comfortable with death and culturally it is accepted and a normal part of life. but i would join to share that perspective

I love the statement, it's real and something we don't talk about.  No-one is getting out of here alive! I didn't really find the video confronting or challenging but was surprised there are death cafes and people around the world meeting to talk about death.  I had a smile about the lady who had a FUN-eral.  I wouldn't bother going to a death cafe meeting but definitely would love it if western culture was more open about the fear of death and pespectives on dying.

The death rate is 100% we are all going to die- my initial reaction to this is not a big one, maybe it steams from my nursing background but I am well aware everybody is going to die, I did not find this video confronting infact I found it interesting and uplifting as I would like to think more positively about death. I do not actually think its thinking about death thats the issue for me, its more about getting old, and losing my youth that worries me. I also find it frustrating that the elderly are kept alive by western medicine when they would prefer to be put out their misery. Im not sure if I  would consider joining a death cafe meeting, mostly because I am not really into group community gatherings like that, I never joined a mums group or anything, just not my style!  

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